On Line Dating: Satisfying or Subjective

Why is it that every commercial we see from the "well known" dating sites show people of all ages, cultures and body types cuddling with a gleam in the eyes?  This brings up the question of just how satisfying an online dating service can be or are the results of meeting that "Special" person subjective.

So, not knowing the answer I signed up for three dating services; all well known and self proclaimed as remarkable.  And here I am in my middle 50's finding myself filling out various types of profile data; some long and extensive and others short and vague.  Then comes the dreaded aspect of finding that right picture to post next to the profile.  All sites say that the better the picture you post the more interested parties you will attract.         A picture without makeup and in casual clothes tends to put off any interested parties, however,      Ohhhhh.....put on the red lipstick, eye shadow and dangling ear rings and the interest triples.

Then comes the pokes such as: your smile catches my interest, I think we have a lot in common, if you e-mail me, I will e-mail back.  All of these are standardized statements ready for a quite flick of the keyboard and off it goes.  Now, what must be realized is that these quick little pokes are so easy to do, that most participants may send off 20 at a time without really reading the profiles, but only looking at the pictures.  So the question must be asked....is the participant who tackles 20 woman on one evenings search out for a real companionship/relationship or is their libido acting up and anything that looks half way decent will fill the void in their life:  subjective or satisfying.

Now, for my personal experiences; which were enlightening.  My first contact was just too good to be true.  We e-mailed for 3 months yet, he kept putting off that actual first meeting. (Hmmmm).  Then comes the.....Oh, how to I begin text message.  (Oh boy here we go, what am I in for now races through my mind)

And from that I find out that the picture he posted was not of himself, the name I had been calling him for 3 months was ficticious and his marital status was not SINGLE but married.  Oh, but, he had all the reasons for the deceptions and would not take my..."back off" and "leave me alone", "you lying unfaithful louse" with any sincerity and to this day, I will get a text message every now and then asking if my morals had loosed up and was I ready for some fun.

Next came the intelligent man, highly personable, starting his own business while maintaining a current managing job.  Oh, we had some great e-mail and text chats and he was eager for that first meeting.  So, about 3 weeks into the conversation status, we decided to meet.  When I arrived at the resturant I could not find him...the reason being....he was not of the race he declared himself to be.  Very handsome indeed, but, how can one overlook the fact that he represented himself to me something other than he truly was. OK now we are shooting 2 for 2 of unstable, without ethics..creepy individuals prowling the on-line dating sites.

Finally, (and this was when I canceled all my memberships), I started a nice chatting session with a man who's picture was cute, who knew all the right things to say to a woman, and the right amount of attention and little remarks that make a woman truly feel like a woman.  Oh, but to find out that this man was NOT a man indeed, but, a woman declaring herself to be that of male gender and not having any estrogen; who found great fun in dangling woman  on the hook..line.. and sinker of searching for the perfect soul mate.

I had experienced enough to know that online dating was NOT satisfying and truly was subjective based on who is talking and what one is looking for.

So, I continue my quest for a companion, but just not in the venue of on line dating.

Readers...any similar experiences or comment regarding On-Line Dating?  Possibly you have found your soul mate or perhaps you have withdrew your picture and profile determined to find that companion in the daily life interactions.

Stumble-tumble..down I go

When I started this Blog back in September with every intent to be faithful at contributing to it routinely I did not factor in all that life can throw up in speed bumps and landslides.  So after many months of no communication from me, I am once again back!

When I last left you I was on the road to going back to school and beginning a path towards a new career.  That has continued; however with some modifications and re-considerations.  For me, the easiest way to tackle the "academic" environment was to join the growing number of older students seeking a degree online.  Online class formats provide a great level of flexibility balanced with strict rules on participation and involvement.  I selected one of the well known online universities which is fully accredited and in the top ten list of growing online concepts and recognized by employers to be a worthwhile and challenging academic structured concept.

This particular online university utilizes a 9 week concept packed full of assignments, readings and daily required interactions with both fellow classmates and instructors.  So, each morning, after my first pot of coffee I sign into class and dig into the day's required activities.  Since only two classes are taken at any given time it is easy to manage due dates and assignments however, even with this taken into consideration, the university requires at least 8 postings per week..per class to be considered actively involved and meet attendance requirements.  Not an easy task!

Whereas with a normal classroom setting I would be packing a large backpack full of heavy books, driving my car to the campus, parking, walking (with arthritis) a mile to class, I can sit in my bathrobe, hair a mess and sign into class and without all the fuss and aggrivation.

There is a statistic that I read that states approximately 20% of all online students are over the age of 50.....so my readers I ask you:  Are you one of them and if so what are your thoughts on going back to school later in life and doing so via the online concept?



   

Making a 180 turn in life and feeling the wind against my face.

I look back on my career of 30 years in Health Care as a Financial Director, and I will say what I have always known; is that was not where I truly wanted my path in life to progress.  The opportunity just kind of happened and because I needed to support myself, my children and now my (Ex) Husband, I had to consider sticking to that path and being a responsible woman.

But, now that it is no longer a consideration..only a set of memories. I want to find that path that I wished I would have stepped onto a few years ago.  Is is possible in your mid 50's to begin a new career path and adventure?  Is it worth all the academic demands and hours of scoping out and processing the thoughts of...what if?   Will the rewards that will come (in time) and at an age as I move towards my 60's; be truly fulfilling and will I have the health and energy to walk down that new career path.

So,  using my action-oriented skills learned through the years as a corporate leader, I made the decision to return to school.  But, Oh..not the traditional way of sitting in a class room full of young adults (elbow to elbow), but, in the world of online class format.  At first I thought,  this is such a new concept, will it be considered a solid and valuable education?  But, after researching it, this appears to be the concept of the future.

I am into week six of classes and moving towards a degree in Psych, hoping to become a therapist.  I can see myself sitting with a client, with my walker or cane next to me, listening and giving advise; and by that time it considering my age, it will be very sage and wise advise.  It is going well and I am carrying an A average in all my classes.  So, I am now content and motivated to keep moving forward in this renaissance of life at least in this particular 180 degree spin.

Renaissance(revival) of Self after retiring at 55

Our life does not stop when we retire early in our 50's. But, it is most difficult to try and figure out which direction to take once we are not longer committed to that 9-5 daily process. What does life hold for us; who knows since we have spent our time managing family, career, relationships. Our names are on an envelope titled: Solid Citizen, Nurturing Parent, Dependable Employee, and Trusted Companion. It is time to open that envelope, spread out the contents of our life, as it has been defined so far, and look to the future as the clock ticks by.

So, being free from some responsibility where do we go from here? What adventures await us; if we only can find them and then take advantage of them. What new interests can we pursue now that time allows. How do we balance following the path to a new life while maintaining a connection with our past. What skills do we have in that envelope that will help us become a more interesting, adventuresome, challenged individual, thereby, giving us a "new lease on life" or what I would rather call it: Creating a Renaissance (revival) of Self.

So, I begin a Blog to not only share my experiences with others, but, find an outlet to express my adventures, ideas, and outcome (whether good or bad).

Ali